Life is hard Sometimes

>> Sunday, December 19, 2010

Today was really, really hard.

I don't know how to be a parent sometimes.  I feel like he needs absolutely every ounce of my energy and attention, and I don't have any left for the rest of life.  And I'm not talking about me sulking because I don't get 'me time (I'll get to that in a minute),' I'm talking about necessities like sleeping and showering and eating.  And I'm not sure what to do.

My partner's sick again.  We think it's bronchitis, which necessarily leaves more of the housework and child care to me.  And I just feel--drained.

On top of that, I feel like I'm missing out on my own spiritual practice.  Lately I haven't been going to the Unity church (which I am newly a member of) because either I'm too tired to get up, or I don't want to disturb my partner because he's not feeling well.  And I feel empty.  I just made a spiritual commitment to this community, and I can't even show up.  But I'm trying to remember that these everyday circumstances--the circumstances of my life--are opportunities for me spiritually too.  I know that life is for living, not just sitting around and reading about spirituality and religion.  So there's got to be room within my life to live spiritually.  I just have to figure out how.

A blurry shot of Owen's Christening

1 comments:

orphansparrow December 30, 2010 at 9:32 PM  

brandy...i read this, and although of course i can't know what you're going though, i can imagine how hard it must be. it seems to me that you must have to have super-human strength to be a mother, and have any sort of life. i don't have any advice or anything...though i hope you are not being hard on yourself. but, i care about you. <3

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